So today I finished my shift one hour late (unpaid sadly), had dinner and watched an episode of one of my favourite animes of all time. As some of you may already know I’ve eaten clean for almost two months now but haven’t kept to a strict calorie deficit. As a result I’ve neither lost or gained much weight.
Dragging myself to a packed gym at around 7pm I just knew today wasn’t going to work. Started with an attempt at one rep max bench 85kg. Failed. Which is fine because I can still bench my body weight, I told myself. Then I tried to one rep max squat 100kg which I’ve never attempted before. Failed that but that’s also okay because what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
My last major lift was the deadlift but I was exhausted at this point. Although yesterday I had planned to attempt 110kg today I chickened out due to the previous lifts and chose 100kg. Managed 3 reps but then I felt a sharp pain in my right lower abdomen. Tried to man up, dropped down to 90kg but couldn’t do anymore than 2 reps before the pain got worse. What a wuss!
I was very angry with myself – why does my body limit me from what I want to achieve when my mind sees it so clearly? I have the work ethic – I’m going to the gym when it’s cold, wet and dark outside after a demanding shift and this is how I get punished? Screw “embrace the struggle” and hustling!
As I was sitting on the return journey back to accommodation I had a moment of weakness I’d like to share with you. All these negative thoughts were nibbling away at me like piranha fish. I envisaged myself devouring a large 200g bag of Doritos in one sitting. I wanted to stop by at the local Chinese Takeaway and order a large chicken curry and boiled rice to drown my sorrows. All this clean eating wasn’t helping me make any progress so what’s the point?
What You can learn from My Moment of Weakness
The gym holds a very special place in my heart because unlike the library, your results are obvious to everyone else. In the latter setting, you can keep quiet and pretend to know nothing or only speak when you know something, to give off the impression that you’re knowledgable.
But in the gym it is obvious to everyone that the leanest guy (lowest body fat) and the person who can lift the most as a percentage of their body weight is the winner.
- I realised that I don’t work hard enough. That’s the first realisation that came to me during that return journey. Instead of telling myself I lift twice a week which is 100 sessions per year, I realised I only lifted twice a week. That’s not nearly enough to achieve greatness – instead of blaming my weak physical human body and genetics, and lack of exogenous steroids, if I want to complain, I need to earn that right. I need to first maximise my input before I can expect results.
- I realised weightlifting isn’t my priority. This is not a case of sour grapes but it’s the truth. The people who work out six or twelve times per week and optimise their diet deserve to lift heavier and heavier and have single digit body fat. For people like me who only lift twice a week and expect to become ripped it’s simply not going to happen because I don’t deserve it. My priorities are becoming a better doctor, achieving financial independence and becoming strong. It’s only third on my list of priorities so how can I have the audacity to complain?
- I realised I need to return to square one. Not only do I have to drastically reduce the amount of weight I deadlift (I’m such a lightweight) due to this potentially serious injury, I need to analyse my weightlifting form. Having deadlifted 105kg with no trouble three days ago is confusing me. Instead of blaming factors outside my control I need to look within and identify anything I can improve on.
I may also have to tweak my workouts from two full body workouts a week to three per week, consisting of a push, pull and leg day. Hope you’re achieving most of your goals but if not hope this post inspires you to find the inner strength to keep moving forward.
P.S. I learned everything I know about finance from this book, this book and finally this one, amongst some others. If you prefer learning through listening use this link for a free Audiobook of your choice by signing up to their 30-day free trial. Simply cancel with the click of a button if you decide later on that the service isn’t for you and still keep your book.